To Be Me

I will not be
More than I am
And I will not be less
For to be more is impossible
To be less is to lie
For I am who I am
And I can only be me
But to be me is to be fallible
And so I will be more
And so I will be less
And there will be one
Who will know me
When I am more
And when I am less
And to them
I will simply be
Me
And the fallacy
Becomes truth
And the impossible
Becomes possible
For they have seen all sides
And will know all of me
So that nothing
Is impossible
And nothing is a lie


~~Random Logic~~

Friends Make the Moments

There are moments in life where you go places, do things and meet people that have an incredible and lasting impact on your life. These moments are the moments that make life worth living. If you ever need to question the validity of life these are the moments that provide the answer.

My exchange year was the combination of all of these factors into amazing moments which put together created a single year long amazing moment. And the friends I made there are friends I will keep for life.

I may not get to see these friends often or at all. Or even get to speak to them often but when I do it never fails to brighten my day. To hear their voices as we laugh over things we remember from when we were together and make new moments to remember. And when we do get to see each other even if it is for the briefest period of time it's like we were never apart. And in half an hour it can feel like we have been talking for a year. Through shared experiences we have forged a bond that isn't broken despite the fact that we are all over the world. Whether it be Australia, New Zealand, Canada, France, Finland, or any other country we are all connected by ties that bind.

As for friends from high school, while it is true many people lose contact with the people they went to school with. But for a lucky few they manage to keep in contact with their friends. And if you manage to keep in contact beyond high school you can guarantee what you have is more than just a playground friendship and that you have loyal friends who will be there for you when you need them.

There are other friends I have made as well over the years. Some in the most unlikely of places. I have made friends on the opposite side of the world or country that I have never met or only met a few times by using the internet but these friendships are just as important. You never know when you will get the opportunity to meet one of these people and find they are like a twin but born and raised on the other side of the world.

The other place I have forged friendships that have lasted beyond the bounds of their original locality is in cadets. Common interest, common activity's and a growing of ones self in ways that challenge you to do the best and be the best you can be. Again friends that last and defy convention despite location.

So this is for you my friends. Wherever you are and however we have met. THANK YOU, for making my life worth living and creating the moments in time that give me the answer to the question when it isn't the number 42.

Sylvia, Sanni, Henna, Svenja, Veera, Salla, Mim, Joey, Jem, Natz, Elly, Martyn, Ellen, Robyn, Brandon, Courtney, Ashley, Travis, Beth, Amy, Niamh, Koit and the many many others I have undoubtedly forgotten. You make life worth living. And I thank you for it.

Sentries of the Land

New poem from me. I wrote it walking home the other day. Was looking at the trees and just thinking about nature and remembering when we used to drive down to Wollongong. Sometimes at night and it was foggy the gum trees at the sides of the road would take on a etheral quality.

~~~

The wind whispers

through the leaves,

rustling natures bell.

The eerie glow

of the moon

shines through the fog

on the trunks of the ghost gum

Staid soldiers

tall and proud they stand

Ever present sentries

of the land

~~~

Hope you enjoy!

--Random Logic--

Insomnia Inspiration

So this is what happens when it's about 2am in the morning and I can't sleep. I start writing random things. Last night I wrote this poem.

Enjoy!

~~~

Running.
Down streets
and through fields.
From what was
to what will be.
Bright lights
at the end of the tunnel
reveal the consequences
Of chances take
and choices made
To become what we are
Of what we were

~~~

--Random Logic--

Obsession Confession...

Today is the day,

I confess an obsession

My books are my love.

~~~

If there is one thing I cannot survive without it is books. Well that and chocolate. But even chocolate comes secondary to my books.

I don't know when the obsession started but as far back as I remember I have been reading. By the time I got to primary school I was reading Baby Sitters Little Sister books by myself. Before that I was reading Golden Books and any other books that caught my interest of the multitude we had at home. Yet despite this I have no memory of my parents reading books to me. So I am not sure if it was a case of when I was very young they did read to me and I don't remember it or if I just had a irrepressible curiosity about what was in the books at home and so taught myself to read. If that is the case then curiosity sure as hell didn't kill this cat! In fact this cat thrived on the thrills of the story.

I often got in trouble at school for reading in class. Maths and Science classes in particular. It was not uncommon for me to have a book on my lap under the desk and for me to be reading it. I had one English teacher who despite the fact that I only ever wrote on about 3 pages of my english book and rarely if ever paid attention was quite happy for me to essentially read my way through the classes. She even encouraged me to keep a list of the books I read which, though incomplete, and definitely not including all the books I had read as I may have forgotten some names, covered over 300 books.

The school librarians knew me by name. They would ask me for book recommendations if they were wanting to read something or would pay attention if I told them about a new book that I had read. I often was the first person to read some of the new books the library got because they wanted to know what I thought. I also got asked to recommend books for other students to read sometimes if a student was looking for something to read.

My friends congratulate me when I walk past a bookstore without going into it. The congratulations are even bigger when I do walk in but come out with nothing. Thats not to say they don't love books... they just aren't as obsessed like me. That's not to say I have no self control. I do really. I have been eyeing off a copy of Jane Eyre in Borders bookstore for the past year and a half trying to justify buying it when I already have 3 other copies. It's just so pretty though nice and clothbound hardcover.

I spent a year in Europe a few years ago now. The first thing I did was suss out and join the local library. I then located the bookstores in the nearby city. Followed soon after by the library in the city. I took advantage of the libraries as often as possible. I knew that if I went crazy buying books I would have no way to get them home really. I considered it restrained that I only bought about 25-30 books that year...

When I got back to Australia after that year I got a job and just happened to be working up the road from a discount book store. That was perilous too. I spent many a lunch hour in there browsing the books. I dread to think how many books I actually bought during lunch hours there. And even now that bookstore is still perilous for me. I recently impulse bought about 15 books there in a single weekend.

And my parents have (almost) always supported this obsession. Most birthdays and christmas' have included at least one book... often more. My dad will call me if he sees a book he thinks I will be interested in and asks me if I want it.

My parents rarely begrudged me a book if I really, really wanted it. Nor any of my siblings. They encouraged us to read as much as they encouraged the use of the local and school libraries. Hence we often struggled to find somewhere to put the books at home. It wasn't long before I was resorting to boxes for my books. And even then I didn't have enough of those. Stacks of books built up on available surfaces including the floor.

When I moved out of home a few years ago I had probably more books than clothes. And I only took the books that weren't on the bookshelves or that I absolutely wouldn't leave behind. I now have 2 bookshelves in my room and not enough room for all my books. 

As it is the obsession thrives. It's an addiction I am not ashamed of. It's an educational addiction. It's an entertaining addiction. It is a lasting addiction.

~~Random Logic~~

Clumsiness

Thanks to the inspiration for this post- The one known as Little Miss Poppit

Those that know me know I am quite a clutz at times. My brothers claim I can't walk through the house without knocking something over. I maintain that is just because they have no sense of balance when creating their precarious piles of junk. That said it is true, I am a clutz. I manage to hurt myself at least once a day without any effort on my behalf. Whether it is a knee hit or elbow hit on a desk, hand on a wall as I am walking down a hall or walking INTO a doorframe(and this happens alot!), I am bound to hurt myself in some manner.

I lived in the same house for 18 years and by the time I moved out I was STILL walking into doorframes! You'd think I would have learned the spatial dimensions of my own home within an 18 year span but somehow I didnt. And it never fails at work that you will hear a *BANG* then cursing as my knee once again hits the set of drawers under the desk. This was particularly common at my last job where I worked at the front counter and there were metal bits sticking from the bottom of the counter so that you could adjust the level the keyboard sat at. Needless to say being a short person and needing the height of the chair to be on a proper level with the screen my knees were constantly hitting those as I swiveled in the chair. It was also quite common for me to collect myself on the filing draws underneath the counter. Without fail AT LEAST 3 times a day. As I said clutziness just comes naturally to me.

So I wonder if I will ever reach a stage in life where I will be able to live without hurting myself on everyday objects that surround me. Is this a common occurance for everyone or am I just remarkably uncoordinated(I'd hope not. I wasn't too bad at playing netball or martial arts and they requires some level of hand-eye coordination!) In the meantime I shall go on with my existance running into doorframes and hurting myself on every desk I come across.

~~Random Logic~~

Cooking...

So I'm not the best of cooks in the world... In fact I am quite a numpty when it comes to some aspects of cooking. But I am not a bad cook when I know what the hell I'm doing or have someone to help.

As evidenced by the fact that I make an awesome pavlova, a spag. bol. that rates higher than my dads in my younger brothers opinion and the fact that I can in fact make a decent potato bake and don't do too badly at making Anzac Biscuits either.

That said after two years of a food tech.(cooking for those who call it by another name) class in highschool you would think that my repertoire would contain more than approximately 5 dishes.

I have always had ambitions of expanding my cooking since highschool. They have never gotten me very far. I bought a recipe book full of pasta recipes... I haven't used it yet. I recently bought a Finnish cookbook when I went into the city one day. Wasn't expecting to find anything like that in Sydney so I was pleasantly suprised. All the recipes I have been trying to find an absolute of with measurements I understand in one place. No longer do i have to trawl the depths of the internet trying to find something that I understand. But the best part of these recipes is that I have used them!

Yes I have cooked food from scratch that required more than 3 ingredients! It's a shocker I know!

I called up my aunt a few weeks ago and she offered for me to come over and do some cooking with her. She was interested in the recipes and I was happy to accept. It's hard to find Finnish food here in Australia(read: impossible except for the occasional chocolate) and there is alot of it that I miss. So on Sunday I went over to my aunts place and cooked and baked.

We made Lihapiirakka(meat pasties), Karjalanpiirakka(Karelian Pasties- basically a rice pudding and a rye crust/pastry), and a semolina and lingonberry dessert porridge. Oh how I have missed these things.

My aunt did most of the dough making for the Lihapiirakka. There was alot of it. The recipe approximated there would be 8. We doubled the quantities and got about 40 I would say. I now have a stash of them in my freezer. They turned out fantastically as well!

As for the Karjalanpiirakka. I made the dough for that. Again we made more than it said we would. I think it said about 6 and we probably got about 15-20. They were a hit too! Turned out perfect. And rather easy to make I thought despite what I had been told by others about them being difficult to make. I think they just find it easier to buy them from the shop and heat them in the microwave or oven. Alot cheaper and less time consuming that way I'm sure! I also have a stash of these in my freezer now though.

And the semolina porridge. Well that was easy. I think I may be making this more often myself if I can find the berries for it. It's easy and yummy and makes a great breakfast or dessert. Took about 20 minutes to make if that as well so very quick to make too!

So now I can add another three recipes to my repertoire. One day there will be more. I may never be a gourmet cook but I shall at least be able to feed myself hot meals and make enough different dishes that I don't eat the same thing every second day.


~~Random Logic~~